Sins of Red #26: Messages from the Past

Final Episode: Dizziness took hold as a sudden rush of emotions engulfed me while I struggled to comprehend what my sister was saying

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“Oh Rosie. He was locked up. But now, he’s well… The detective told me that Clive… He’s dead.”

Please check the summaries in this post if you need an explanation as to what has gone on:

Sins of Red #25: Sacrifice and Sin

Time to Free the Past and Leave the Guilt Behind

“I don’t understand. How can that be? They only put him in jail yesterday… Dead. Clive. No!”

I pushed my head back into the pillow, trying to make sense of it, and for a moment, closed my eyes and swooned.

Dizziness took hold as a sudden rush of emotions engulfed me while I struggled to comprehend what my sister was saying.

Since Clive had held me captive in my car a few weeks before, I’d been grappling with the shocking details of our past and my part in Clive’s downfall. Yes, he had turned into a murderer, sacrificing dark-haired women. He told me it helped erase some of the guilt he felt for accidentally committing incest. However, I expect also the enormity of actually killing led him to experience such an extremity of emotions, which in turned helped him forget about the past for a while.

I don’t pretend to be a psychoanalyst, but I was the only person to truly know, Clive. And the dreadful thing was, I still don’t view him as a monster. I was scared, wondering what that said about me, the woman who had loved him.

Marie held my hand until I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

Later, I spoke to the police and learned Clive had actually turned himself in, signed a statement and before morning hung himself in the cell. I felt numb, unable to work out my thoughts and emotions as pictures of my time with Clive filled my mind.

The following day, Marie was out shopping when the post arrived.

Clive’s handwriting.

How could that be? He must have sent it before he gave himself up.

I tore open the envelope.

“The sins from my past belong to you, Red. The murders were meant to erase that for both of us, but seeing you simply reminded me all over again. Reminded me of what I’d done, and how much I loved you. Never stopped, really. This debacle needs to end for the three of us, and only I can do that. Remember to keep the secret. Good bye my Rosie Red.”

I sat looking at the words until they all jumbled together on the page and ceased to make sense.

The secret… never telling Steph that Clive was her half brother. We weren’t in contact so that bit was easy.

For some reason, receiving the note had a positive effect on me. It was over. It didn’t matter anymore that he had thought I was to blame, as I was part of the story. Without me, it could not have happened, but now I had to move on. I’d been stagnant for too many years. Time to live my life. Nothing I could do would bring Clive back or change our history…

As area manager of a public house group, it was easy to get transferred to a different locality. Perhaps I’d go down to the south or up north. Just away. I thought.

It didn’t take long to finalise — Northumberland. And the company would set me up with accommodation while I looked for my own place. For the first time since that threesome summer nearly nine years ago, I was doing something positive.

So, thank you for reading my story. And I suppose you are never too old for a happy ending. My new job covers a very rural area. Perhaps I will meet a rich, sexy farmer! First, I need to mail the boss to inform her of when I’ll be arriving. Hang on, an email has just pinged into my box…

OMG!

Hi Rosie. I am dreadfully sorry I haven’t been in touch. Time flies. I just want you to know I am thinking of you at this time. I recognised the photo of Clive in the newspaper. What a shock. I can’t seem to see him as a killer? He was such a caring guy. I must say, I am quite overwhelmed by it all. Remember how close we all were? I suppose they got it right, though? How are you? Did you ever see him during those years? I would really like to hear from you when you have time. Make sense of it all. Please reply.

Take care. Love Steph.

THE END

Sins of Red #26: Time to Free the Past and Leave the Blame Behind by May More

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Here’s part one if you have stumbled in and want to read: